Bridges to Nowhere

Why would someone build a bridge to nowhere? Either they do not realize where they are headed, or they just are not the sharpest tool in the shed. The fact is, though, most of us have probably found ourselves building “bridges to nowhere” at one point or another—in other words, spending a lot of effort on something that will never take us to a useful destination. Chances are, most of us have, at one time or another, held onto grudges—which are effectively bridges to nowhere.

Human nature can lead us to be quite hypocritical in how we address hurt feelings. We may recognize that when another person holds a grudge, they journey away from the healing process—and yet when we have our own bone to pick, we might still hang on to our grudge, deluding ourselves into thinking that, for us, the results will somehow be different.

Grudges are terrible dinner guests. They have endless appetites, but the only thing they eat is the one who invited them to dinner. The list of health effects is lengthy and can include any and all of the complications that result from depression and increased risk for cardiovascular diseases. The real kicker is that intellectually we understand that these are side effects, and yet in reality we still may find it difficult to let some things go.

Why do we cling so tightly to feelings that we often know only hurt us? Perhaps it is because they are ours—those feelings belong to us, and to let go of them means realizing that it is wrong to nurse them. We just do not want to admit that perhaps we were wrong, or at least that it may be better to be wronged and have peace than to get revenge.

At times, hurt feelings may indeed be justified, but holding onto them is contrary to two core Christian principles:

1) “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5).

and

2) “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27).

Do we go to God when we have slipped up and pray, “I really blew that one, you better really mess me up this time, really teach me a lesson”? Or, do we ask Him to be merciful with us? If we love God with all of our heart, then our heart will reflect His, which is filled with forgiveness and patience. If we love our neighbor as ourselves, then we will extend to them the same level of mercy that we want from God, and if we do not truly forgive from our hearts, then God will not forgive our debts either (Matthew 18:21–35).

In bridge building there is a process called surveying, where a surveyor will come to the potential construction site to see how to best lay the road and choose which route the road or bridge should take to arrive at the desired final destination. Another way to look at this is that the surveyor eliminates any routes that may traverse treacherous terrain. We can apply this to the times when someone’s actions anger or upset us. God tells us that those who wish to see Him must first pursue peace with all people, and if we are not making that pursuit then we will lose out on eternity (Hebrews 12:14–17).

Are we counting the cost of holding grudges? We each have to ask ourselves: “Which route will lead me to God’s Kingdom?” Adjusting our road to avoid a mountain is one thing, but changing course over a mole hill may leave us building a bridge to nowhere.

To learn more, watch the Tomorrow’s World telecast “What is the Greatest Love?”  Also be sure to order your free subscription to the Tomorrow’s World magazine, for helpful, related articles like “Overcoming Stress” and “Are You Willing to Change?”