Bridges to Nowhere

Why would people build a bridge to nowhere? Either they do not realize where they are headed, or they just are not the sharpest tools in the shed. Sadly, however, most of us have done this unknowingly at one time or another—spending a lot of effort on something that will never take us to a useful destination.

How have we done this? Chances are, most of us have at times held onto grudges—which are essentially bridges to nowhere.

Human nature can lead us to be quite hypocritical in how we address hurt feelings. We may recognize that when other people hold grudges, they stray away from the healing process, Yet, when we have our own bone to pick, we too often hang on to our grudge, deluding ourselves into thinking that, for us, the results will somehow be different.

Grudges are terrible dinner guests; they have endless appetites, but the only thing they consume is the one who invited them to dinner. The list of health risks associated with holding grudges is lengthy and alarming. It can include any or all of the complications that result from depression, such as chronic fatigue, anxiety, and a weakened immune system. Additionally, holding onto grudges can even lead to an increased risk for cardiovascular diseases, as the constant stress and negative emotions take their toll on our hearts and overall well-being. But while intellectually we may understand the clear side effects of our grudges, in practice we may still find it difficult to let some old hurts go.

Why do we cling so tightly to feelings that we know only hurt us? Perhaps we do so because they are our hurts—those feelings belong to us, and to let go of them means to realize that we have been wrong to nurse them. It can be hard to admit that we may have been wrong, or at least that it may be better that we be wronged and have peace by forgiving than that we continue to sulk or to seek revenge.

The Cost of Our Bridges

At times, hurt feelings may be understandable—but even then, holding onto them is contrary to two core Christian principles: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5) and “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39).

When we fail to uphold these principles, do we go to God and pray, “I really blew that one—You better really teach me a lesson this time”? Or do we ask Him to be merciful with us? If we love God with all of our heart, then our heart will reflect His, which is filled with forgiveness and patience. If we love our neighbors as ourselves, we will extend to them the same level of mercy that we want from God—and, if we do not truly forgive from our hearts, God will not forgive our debts, either (Matthew 18:21–35).

In bridge-building, there is a process called surveying, in which a surveyor comes to a potential construction site to see how best to lay the road and to choose which route a bridge should take to arrive at the desired destination. The surveyor’s work eliminates any routes that may traverse treacherous terrain. We can apply this in our own lives to those times when someone’s behavior upsets us. God tells us that those who wish to see Him must first pursue peace with all people—and if we are not making that pursuit, we will lose out on eternity (Hebrews 12:14–17).

Are we counting the cost of holding grudges? We must each ask ourselves, “Which route will lead me to God’s Kingdom?” Changing course—especially over a mole hill we are treating as a mountain—may leave us building a bridge to nowhere.

To learn more, watch the telecast “What Is the Greatest Love?” You can also read helpful, related articles like “Overcoming Stress” and “Are You Willing to Change?”