Choosing friends

So we should be careful to associate ourselves with people of good character, who will help us avoid many of the evils that currently afflict our society. If we instead choose companions who act contrary to good order, engaging in the vices of drunkenness and sexual immorality, they will inevitably pull us down into the cesspool with them. "Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits" (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Birds of a feather do flock together, and we can always find others who share our interests. Those who love good music gather at concerts, just as those inclined to abuse alcohol come together in bars and at parties. Chess players, sports fans and gamblers have clubs where they can pursue their common interests, and those seeking illicit sexual activity will always find one another. But: "Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God" (James 4:4).

What kind of friends do we seek? Some people who want to associate with you may do so for selfish reasons. If they are always looking for a handout, look out! "If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread…. and if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother" (2 Thessalonians 3:10-15).

It is good to help those in need. "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (Proverbs 17:17). But we need to be sure the need is genuine. We should not neglect the needs of the friends closest to us, who may be even more trusted than distant family members. "Do not forsake your own friend or your father's friend, nor go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity; better is a neighbor nearby than a brother far away" (Proverbs 27:10).

If we want to have friends, we must choose wisely. "A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). Friends who believe God's word will generally prove to be the most reliable, especially if Christ's Spirit is in them. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For by me your days will be multiplied, and years of life will be added to you. If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, and if you scoff, you will bear it alone" (Proverbs 9:10-12).

To learn more about practicing true friendship, and how to recognize the right kinds of friends, read our booklet, What Is a True Christian.