Soft Skills for Success

What values are we passing on to the next generation—especially to our own children? How are we preparing them to lead successful lives?

God values the next generation. He invests in them and wants us to invest in them as well. Teaching is one of the most important ways we can do that. God inspired Moses to write, “You shall teach [My words] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” (Deuteronomy 6:7). Solomon wrote, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). But what is “the way he should go”? What’s really important in life?

Modern culture doesn’t give us the answer—or at least a very good answer. Just look at the strife and anger on full display in the political arena, in the entertainment industry, and on social media. Too many people get caught up in vulgarity, self-focus, and even hatred. But this is not a surprise to those who read their Bible. God long ago explained that most people will just go along with a way of life influenced by Satan the Devil. The Apostle James wrote, “But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there” (James 3:14–16).

On the other hand, the Bible teaches a way of peace, cooperation, and harmony with neighbors. Notice, as James continues, that “the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace” (vv. 17–18). We might sum up those qualities as ethical personal character: the understanding of how to treat others properly and the will and self-control to do so.

And it turns out that these traits of ethical personal character—often called soft skills—are exactly what many employers are looking for. Soft skills can be defined as “personal attributes and abilities that enable individuals to interact effectively and harmoniously with others in the workplace and beyond. Unlike technical or hard skills, which are typically job-specific and measurable, soft skills are transferable and applicable across various roles and industries. Soft skills encompass a wide range of capabilities, including communication, teamwork, adaptability, problem-solving, emotional intelligence, leadership, time management, and conflict resolution” (“Soft skills,” HiPeople.io, February 14, 2024).

Soft skills include the ability to get along with others, handle conflict, and self-motivate to do a good job. They encompass the character attributes that mark a trustworthy, dependable worker—and a godly Christian!

According to the National Soft Skills Association, “Research conducted by Harvard University, the Carnegie Foundation and Stanford Research Center has all concluded that 85% of job success comes from having well-developed soft and people skills, and only 15% of job success comes from technical skills and knowledge (hard skills)” (“The Soft Skills Disconnect,” February 13, 2015). One of the prime factors for success in the workplace is simply having the soft skills required to manage your own life well and get along with others.

Let’s briefly consider three such skills that can prepare your children for success in life today and beyond.

Develop a Strong Work Ethic

God makes clear in His word that successful people do not shy away from work. In fact, one of the Ten Commandments, the Sabbath command, tells us, “Six days you shall labor and do all your work” (Exodus 20:9). The Apostle Paul proclaimed, “If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:10). We also read, “The hand of the diligent will rule, but the lazy man will be put to forced labor” (Proverbs 12:24), and again, “The way of the lazy man is like a hedge of thorns, but the way of the upright is a highway” (Proverbs 15:19). God wants us all to work attentively, as we are able.

This applies even when work is dull. Parents need to teach children that while some jobs will be boring, they are still necessary. As one blogger noted, “Teach your child to do monotonous work from early years as it is the foundation for future ‘workability.’ Folding laundry, tidying up toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table, making lunch, unpacking their lunch box, making their bed” (“Why are our children so bored at school, cannot wait, get easily frustrated and have no real friends?,” YourOT.com, May 16, 2016).

Employers today are practically begging for workers who will just turn up and put in an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. Teach a good work ethic and you’ll be setting your children on solid economic footing—and you’ll be preparing them for life in God’s eternal Family.

Have a Positive Attitude

We are living in a culture of complaining. We complain about anything and everything. Is that reflected in your household as well? Or are you exhibiting—and teaching—a positive attitude in your home?

Part of training our children is teaching them how to face problems squarely—but recognizing life’s challenges should not mean living under a cloud of gloom. The Apostle Paul gives us good advice when he tells us what we should focus our minds on. He explains, “Whatever things are true… noble… just… pure… lovely… of good report… meditate on these things” (Philippians 4:8).

Research shows that continual complaining hardwires our brains to complain more. Consider: “Repeated complaining rewires your brain to make future complaining more likely. Over time, you find it’s easier to be negative than to be positive, regardless of what’s happening around you. Complaining becomes your default behavior, which changes how people perceive you” (“How Complaining Rewires Your Brain for Negativity,” Entrepreneur.com, September 9, 2016). Do we want that to be our legacy to our children?

Helping young people develop a positive and resilient attitude even in the face of setbacks is setting them up to succeed, for in every life there will be disappointments. As Solomon wrote, “A broken spirit dries the bones” (Proverbs 17:22). God wants us to learn to be confident in Him and His way and to face life hopefully and buoyantly, no matter the obstacle.

Communicate Respectfully

Many today have forgotten—or never learned—to communicate in a civil and respectful way. Derisive insults and reckless, cutting remarks are everywhere. It’s up to us to teach our children a different way.

God has a lot to say about communicating in a way that pleases Him and edifies others. He inspired Solomon to write, “A soft answer turns away wrath; but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). How many verbal—and sometimes even physical—assaults could be avoided if people made that their rule? And on social media today, a “rant” is regular fare—Solomon could have been describing today’s online landscape when he wrote, “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back” (Proverbs 29:11).

God wants us to consider how others will respond to our words. That’s a crucial lesson to teach children as we work with them from day to day.

Teach your children to communicate constructively, teach them to work diligently, and teach them to maintain a positive attitude. These “soft skills” will put them in a strong position to succeed in life—both at home and in the workplace. And, much more importantly, these skills will prepare your children for eternal life in God’s Kingdom!