So, how are you getting along?

For many years, I have kept a little round mirror in my office cabinet. When a problem with another person develops, I look in the mirror – and find the culprit staring back at me! Yes, generally I must admit to some or all of the blame. My vanity, jealousy, lust or greed has intruded again, my tongue has offended, and I've once more gotten myself into trouble! "For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison" (James 3:7-8).

We need to think about the effect our words may have on someone – before we speak or write them! Even if someone says he (or she) wants the truth, we need to understand that most people do not really want to hear the "unvarnished" truth about how others perceive them. We need to be careful. Even if we are right, telling the blunt "facts" about what we perceive as others' faults will usually do little more than bring retribution down upon our head!

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness" (Proverbs 15:1-2). How we choose our words can make the difference between gaining a friend and making an enemy. Even if we regret what we've said, and apologize later, the damage we've done may not easily be repaired. "A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle" (Proverbs 18:19).

When someone's words spur us to anger, we are advised, "do not let the sun go down on your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26). Sometimes people's words may make us angry, but we need to learn to retain our composure. "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city" (Proverbs 16:32).

Before we condemn someone else's faults, we must be careful to examine our own. We often see in others the very same faults we want to believe are not present in our own character (Luke 6:42). Perhaps you have heard the old saying, "Your actions are screaming so loudly, I can't hear your words!" Before offering someone else correction, we need to be sure we have applied those words in our own life.

If we have friends who are off-course in their lives, it is good if we desire to help them. But we need to be sure our advice will be appreciated. "Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a just man, and he will increase in learning" (Proverbs 9:8-9).

Are other people unhappy with your advice? Do you always seem to be in trouble with people you are trying to help? If so, look in the mirror, and you may find the person who is to blame. For more on how to apply true Christianity in your life, please read our booklet, What Is a True Christian? You can read it online, or order your own printed copy absolutely FREE, with no obligation.