Finding a "soul mate"

With all of the social experiments in cohabitation, open marriages and so forth, many people assume that marriage is passé. Why does the goal of finding a long-term compatible life companion remain an ideal worth striving for? How can one escape the hopelessness of the dating game and the emptiness of the singles scene? The answer, quite simply, is that—contrary to the assertions of social evolutionists—male and female roles in the institution of marriage were not developed by man, but were created by God Himself as we read in Mark 10 where Jesus tells us: "But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (vv. 6-9).

God intended that man and woman form a bond for life through the institution of marriage and family. But in today's chaotic society, how does one go about finding a life-long companion the way God intended? Numerous studies have shown that marriages based on shared values stand a much greater chance for success than those based on any other single factor. Shared values provide a context for the definition of the roles of both of the marital partners, as well as a context for resolving the inevitable conflicts that arise in any human relationship.

Since God is the Creator of marriage itself, it stands to reason that the shared values we need to find in any successful relationship are not just any values, but the values of the Creator of marriage: God Almighty. We are told in God's Word that there are proper priorities we must follow to gain His favor and to be able to understand His will in our lives. In Exodus 20:2, God said: "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me." God plainly tells us that to succeed in building a proper foundation for marriage, based on His values, we have to put Him first. In putting Him first, we also put His instructions for our lives first: His laws and His instructions in His Word must come way ahead of anything and everything else. The Bible is God's instruction book for His creation. In it we have the opportunity to pursue understanding of the principles God has provided for living a successful life. With this strong foundation, we are then prepared to find a life-long "soul mate" who shares those same values.

Where does one find such a person? Obviously not in a singles bar or some Internet chat room. Rather, we are told in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?" One finds such a person within a context of a group of people who share the same values.

Imagine that you were putting together a group of people for a golf league. Would it make any sense for you to seek to include somebody who has not the slightest interest in golf? Of course not! You quite logically would seek out people who shared your interest in golf. In a very minor way, this exemplifies what I am talking about. Finding a true, life-long "soul mate" is not an impossible dream. That is not to say that it is easy, but it requires putting God first in our lives, following His will, committing our lives into His hands and finding our "soul mate" among a community of people who put the same priority on following the whole Truth of God as revealed in His Word.

Read our booklet God's Plan for Happy Marriage online, or order a printed copy at absolutely no charge!